Pride In Ageing

For most of my life, I lived in silence, confined to a world of isolation and fear. Growing up in the late 80s and 90s, I was taught that being gay was something to hide, something to be ashamed of. I spent over 50 years in the closet – half my life shut off from love, from connection, from any kind of intimacy. I didn’t date girls, I didn’t secretly date boys, and I certainly didn’t share any of those intimate moments that so many others were experiencing.

Looking back, those years were filled with uncertainty and pain. There was a constant sense of fear – fear that I would be found out, fear that my world would crumble if anyone knew the truth. In my youth, society seemed to be on a different wavelength. We lived in an environment where the thought of being openly gay felt like an impossibility. In many ways, it has left me with lingering scars, including Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

But that was then. Now, I find myself reflecting on how far the LGBTQIA+ community has come, and I can’t help but feel a sense of pride. The transformation in society and the ways that relationships are now accepted and celebrated have given me hope and strength. To witness the growing acceptance and the joyous energy around Pride is nothing short of awe-inspiring. Pride, in all its colours and expressions, has allowed me, and countless others, to slowly step out of the shadows and into the light. It has given us a voice, a space where we no longer have to hide who we are.

For me, the most striking and empowering movement in this space is the Pride in Ageing programme, launched by Sir Ian McKellen and now expanding into Greater Manchester, Liverpool, and Merseyside. The program, which began in 2019, was created with a clear vision: to provide support and create opportunities for LGBTQ+ individuals over the age of 50, who often face isolation and discrimination due to their sexual orientation or gender identity. This programme has not only addressed the issues many older LGBTQ+ people face but has done so in the most beautiful and empowering way. It brings people together in joy, fun, and celebration, offering the kind of events and opportunities that I wish had existed when I was younger.

Pride in Ageing and its celebrations are a testament to how far we’ve come as a community. It’s incredible to see how Pride has evolved, from large cities to small towns, reaching all corners of the world. The idea that Pride events are now expanding into places where, years ago, people might not even have dared to think about such things, is both beautiful and meaningful. To witness the lives being touched, the smiles being shared, and the walls being torn down, is truly uplifting.

Even though I carry scars from my past, I take great pride in the fact that I am a part of this LGBTQIA+ community, however small my role may be. It’s not about the size of your voice, but the strength and the love that comes with it. And whether you’re 16 or 70, whether you’re just stepping into the world of being open or you’ve lived with that truth for years, the community will always be your family. We support each other, we stand beside each other, and we celebrate each other’s journeys, no matter where they began.

Pride has taught me that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to coming out, and that’s okay. Whether you come out early or later in life, your journey is valid, and you deserve to feel proud of who you are. This pride comes not only from living openly but also from knowing that we stand on the shoulders of those who fought for us – those who paved the way for the acceptance and love we experience today. Their legacy lives in the heart of every Pride event, in every person who stands tall and shouts, “I am proud of who I am.”

It is a beautiful thing to finally say, “I am a gay man” without shame, without fear, without hesitation. Though I still face challenges – who doesn’t? – I no longer feel repressed. There’s freedom in simply existing as myself, and there’s nothing more powerful than that. To anyone who’s still in the closet or afraid to live their truth, know that there is a family waiting for you. When you’re ready, take that step. You’re not alone. Pride is a reminder that you are worthy of love, of acceptance, and of living authentically.

We are all part of something bigger than ourselves – a community that has been, and continues to be, a symbol of resilience, strength, and love. So, yes, I am proud of who I am, and I am proud to be part of this ever-growing movement. The LGBTQIA+ community is my family, and together, we will continue to celebrate and fight for the right to love freely, without fear, without hesitation, and with unwavering pride.